Who do you think you are?


cropped-circle.jpgWhen I was younger I remember spending a weekend in Germantown, TN with friends of my parents.  We pulled up to the largest house I had ever seen.  The style of the home was perfectly constructed for any John Hughes movie.  The back of the home had a heart shaped swimming pool.  We walked into the foyer, which was a word I had never heard and certainly couldn’t pronounce without my white trash accent saying four-year.  I said wow so many times my mother grabbed my hand and whispered “stop saying wow.”  I understand now that she wanted me to maintain a composure that suggested I was on that level.  This memory has stayed with me many times while I was “faking it until I was making it.” Always remember do not say wow out loud, you are on this level.

The truth is I never feel on that level.  In life you will meet people that make you question your own image.  Do you really belong on a lifeboat or are you going down with the ship?  As an adult my wow has been replaced with

  • Is her hair that perfect everyday?  I bet she could get laid in a hurricane and her hair would still look perfect.
  • I bet her kitchen cabinets look like an Andy Warhol painting.
  • Is she really that happy or should I ask who supplies her vicodin?
  • She has her life together so perfectly I bet she pops in a tampon one minute before her period starts.
  • Should I even waste my time talking to her?  I’m not on her level.
  • She is educated in subjects that make me feel like I should be pushing buttons at a carnival all day.

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Time to step it up honey and remember what your daddy told ya “They put on their jeans one leg at a time just like everyone else.”  The problem with that advice is most of the people I have been intimidated by wore dresses.  I was the woman standing beside her wearing my best pair of jogging pants with a tiny hole in the crotch.

One time I remember reading a comment by an absolute gorgeous woman on Facebook.  She said


Try reading that with a messy bun you have had for three days in a row….unwashed.  How do you get on that level?  How can I become the perfect hair, just got laid in a hurricane lady?  Do I truly want to become that lady?  What if it isn’t that great?  Maybe you come out with perfect hair and an STD.   Messy three day dirty hair is better than a z-pack ridden messy vag.  Of course we all know in reality she has perfect hair and a pristine vag.

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Then there are times someone thinks the cans in your kitchen cabinet are perfectly aligned in alphabetical order.  Do you say “Thank You” or “No, I’m on your level!”  I had a lady once confuse me with someone who had all their crackers in the box.  She said, “We need you because you are such a go-getter.  You are great with people.  Your boldness and confidence is exactly what we need.”

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We were at a taco bar and I was spilling white cheese dip with every syllable she spoke.  As I cleaned up cheese dip off of stainless steel I saw the real me in my mind.  I saw the real me giving myself a pep talk in the morning to get out of bed.  I am the lady that needs wellbutrin because I cry uncontrollably anytime the seasons start to change. I saw myself walking out of my childs school function as fast as possible so I could avoid sticking my foot in my mouth. (again)

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I am the girl who has tons of boldness to compensate for the confidence I lack.


She didn’t see me.  At that moment I wondered if she can’t see me, then how many others have I not seen?

Is it possible that all together tampon lady walked around all day with a red stain on her perfect pretty white dress for all to see?  Maybe PhD lady has a thing for carnies.  Maybe the lady that I am afraid to talk to doesn’t have a true friend.  None of these thoughts are original.  We all know that no one is perfect, the grass is greener yadda yadda.  But everyone wants you to focus on the fact no one is perfect.  When was the last time you realized they… can’t…see… you.  I have decided to replace “they put on their pants one leg at a time” to “You never really see them and they can’t see you.”

In your mind slap ole tampon lady in her red spot.

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It is perfectly fine in your mind to tell PhD lady that her ride is over.

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Perfect hair smurfect hair go rock that unwashed hair!  Dry shampoo and a cute headband can do alot for us faking it until we are making it kind of gals!

Push the elevator button in your mind and reach the same level as everyone else.  In reality they never truly see you.

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The woman that owned the heart shaped pool in Germantown grew up with absolutely NOTHING.  She wanted the pool in a shape of a heart to remind her how she got to Germantown.  I saw the end result I didn’t see her beginning.  Now that you know that no one can really see you, who do you think you are?  The answer you give is perfect at all levels.

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4 thoughts on “Who do you think you are?”

  1. So one time I was talking with a lady who seemed to have it all together and I was saying how hard it is to be a parent sometimes and how it’s hard to just get everyone together at night for a decent meal. And she told me about the time that her kids were driving her nuts and she was really tired so she UNWRAPPED SOME TOOTSIE ROLLS, a put them on a paper plate, and heated them up so AT LEAST THEY’D HAVE SOMETHING WARM TO EAT. I about fell over. So now, no matter how badly I think I’ve failed at something, I always think, “Well, at least I didn’t heat up Tootsie Rolls for supper.”

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  2. This is a good read, love it! The thing is, only people in my inner circle (about 3 people) really know what goes on. You feel like messy bun lady, but to people like me, you represent what we want. Sometimes people need to smell the roses! I really like the thought that has gone in to this. It really brought up some things to think about for me. Sometimes we may think the grass is so much greener, but it’s just because we didn’t really look at our own lawn in the right light. You inspire me Bre!

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  3. I enjoy hearing your thoughts, my dear… always have. I must disagree about one thing, though. You are NOT clueless, or you would have nothing to say. Wit and humor will never fail you because they ARE you. In case you’ve forgotten my mantra, everyone wants what they don’t have. I have always wanted to look like you do, on your worst day. So keep the words flowing, the ideas and observations coming, and remember you will always find both your own reflection and its opposite in your readers. You rock! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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